Katy Perry - Week of September 7, 2013

And just like that, we have a new record…one that I think may never be broken again.  Hey, and Spyder Harrison was back this week, too!  Before we get on to this week’s Fresh 45, here’s a list of all the songs we’re saying good-bye to this week.

• Twenty One Pilots - Holding On To You
• fun. - Some Nights (DTHNOBx2)
• Ke$ha Ft. will.i.am - Crazy Kids

The Countdown:

1. Katy Perry - Roar (#3) [First Week at #1]

2. Imagine Dragons - Radioactive (#1)

3. Robin Thicke ft. Pharrell and T.I. - Blurred Lines (#2)

4. Florida Georgia Line - Cruise (#15)

5. Maroon 5 - Love Somebody (#5)

6. Calvin Harris Ft. Ellie Goulding - I Need Your Love (#6)

7. Fall Out Boy - My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark (Light 'em Up) (#7)

8. Macklemore Ft. Ryan Lewis - Same Love (#18)

9. Paramore - Still Into You (#9)

10. Lady Gaga - Applause (#10)

11. Capital Cities - Safe and Sound (#11)

12. Zedd Ft. Foxes - Clarity (#4)

13. Taylor Swift Ft. Ed Sheeran - Everything Has Changed (#17)

14. Bruno Mars - Treasure (#36)

15. Mika Ft. Ariana Grande - Popular Song (#19)

16. Labrinth Ft. Emeli Sande - Beneath Your Beautiful (#13)

17. Jason Derulo - The Other Side (#14)

18. One Direction - Best Song Ever (#21)

19. Macklemore Ft. Ryan Lewis - Can't Hold Us (#8)

20. Jesse McCartney - Back Together (#39)

21. Eminem - Berzerk (DEBUT)

22. MKTO - Classic (#23)

23. Avicii Ft. Aloe Blacc - Wake Me Up (#20)

24. Train Ft. Ashley Monroe - Bruises (#22)

25. Karmin - Acapella (#12)

26. Pink - True Love (#25)

27. Krewella - Live for the Night (#24)

28. Bonnie McKee - American Girl (#29)

29. Tegan & Sara - Closer (#32)

30. Cody Simpson - Pretty Brown Eyes (#31)

31. John Newman - Love Me Again (#28)

32. Selena Gomez - Come & Get It (#35)

33. Macklemore Ft. Ryan Lewis - Thrift Shop (#40)

34. Demi Lovato - Heart Attack (#27)

35. Icona Pop - All Night (#16)

36. Phillip Phillips - Gone Gone Gone (DEBUT)

37. Daft Punk - Get Lucky (#34)

38. Pink Ft. Nate Reuss - Just Give Me a Reason (#41)

39. Enrique Iglesias - Turn the Night Up (DEBUT)

40. The 1975 - Chocolate (#33)

41. Sammy Adams Ft. Mike Posner - LA Story (#44)

42. Anna Kendrick - Cups (#45)

43. Swedish House Mafia - Don't You Worry Child (#42)

44. Awolnation - Sail (#37)

45. Icona Pop - I Love It (#38)

Biggest DDDDDRRRRROOOOOPPPP!!!....of the week: Icona Pop – All Night (-19)

Biggest Jump of the Week: Bruno Mars – Treasure (+22)

I have been dreading giving this week’s update.  Hoo boy, have I not been excited.  This week is not what it is supposed to be.  At all.  Take Enrique Iglesias – Turn The Night Up for instance.  This is supposed to be a countdown of songs that more people in North America want to hear than any other.  However, Turn The Night Up is obnoxious (save for the melodious part of the chorus) and awful, and there’s no possible way that a rational North American could like this song, let alone request for it to be played on the radio.  And Eminem.  Brilliant, excellent, Eminem.  His songs are supposed to be great!  They’re not supposed to be weird and polluted with strange background music….they’re supposed to feature Eminem’s unique rapping ability with minimal distractions from that.  However, Berzerk doesn’t do that.  It’s odd, and actually sort of bad.  Well, maybe not so much bad as disappointing.  Eminem’s return to the countdown is supposed to be exciting.  Berzerk is not.

And Phillip Phillips.  I’m SUPPOSED to like him.  He’s talented.  He doesn’t make trashy music like all these other countdown artists.  Heck, EVERYONE is SUPPOSED to like him.  Go into public and say bad things about Phillip Phillips.  I dare you.  You will be wildly unpopular and people will tell you to stop speaking.  Yet his songs like Home and this week’s debut, Gone Gone Gone are simply not things that I want to hear come on the radio.  They are things that I wish would play in an elevator or while I am on the phone and on hold with a company with annoying customer service, like Comcast.  I’m supposed to like Gone Gone Gone.  It’s a well-put together, well-written, well-performed song, but this is pop music we’re talking about.  I want catchy hooks, I want instant gratification, I want something that stands out in a unique way that makes me think “I can’t wait to hear this song again”.  Gone Gone Gone does not fulfill any of these.  I’m SUPPOSED to like Phillip Phillips’s music, but I am superlatively indifferent to it.

Harvey Blurbman

- Spyder Harrison pointed out the record-breaking time in which Katy Perry – Roar ascended to the #1 spot.  Glad to see someone besides me is keeping track of this.

- Whoever responded “Not at all” to the “How tired are you of this song” question for Florida Georgia Line – Cruise in the Hits-1 wutchuwant survey last week…..you are not doing the world any favors.  Just…just look at where that’s ranked.  Thanks, thanks a lot.

- fun – Some Nights debuted on July 28, 2012.  Gee, you think it was about time it got kicked off the countdown for good?  And no, this does not count as record-breaking tenure, because it was on its second go-round.  Maroon 5 – Payphone reigns supreme.

- I’m actually fairly happy that Imagine Dragons – Radioactive didn’t hit #1 for a record-tying 9^th time.  It is nowhere near good or infectious enough to deserve that honor.  Quite frankly, I’m tired of hearing it.

- Robin Thicke ft. Pharrell and T.I. - Blurred Lines has yet to hit #1 on this countdown.  Keep up the strong defense, voters!  Don’t let that crap through!

- Yet another of my beloved July 20, 2013 new entrant class bites the dust.  You will be missed, Twenty One Pilots – Holding On To You.  Sorely underappreciated.

Editor’s Picks – Top 5 Songs

1) Bonnie McKee – American Girl

2) Train Ft. Ashley Monroe – Bruises

3) MKTO – Classic

4) Karmin – Acapella

5) Avicii Ft. Aloe Blacc – Wake Me Up