Katy Perry (3) - Week of September 21, 2013

Strapped for time this week all, my apologies.  Before we get on to this week’s Fresh 45, here’s a list of all the songs we’re saying good-bye to this week:

• Enrique Iglesias - Turn the Night Up
• Demi Lovato - Heart Attack (DTHNOBx2)
• Anna Kendrick - Cups
• Jason Derulo - The Other Side

The Countdown:

1. Katy Perry - Roar (#1) [Third Week at #1]

2. Imagine Dragons - Radioactive (#2)

3. Zedd Ft. Foxes - Clarity (#6)

4. Paramore - Still Into You (#7)

5. Macklemore Ft. Ryan Lewis - Same Love (#3)

6. Fall Out Boy - My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark (Light 'em Up) (#5)

7. Avicii Ft. Aloe Blacc - Wake Me Up (#9)

8. Capital Cities - Safe and Sound (#11)

9. Lady Gaga - Applause (#8)

10. Maroon 5 - Love Somebody (#4)

11. Calvin Harris Ft. Ellie Goulding - I Need Your Love (#12)

12. The 1975 - Chocolate (#23)

13. Taylor Swift Ft. Ed Sheeran - Everything Has Changed (#15)

14. Eminem - Berzerk (#14)

15. Pink - True Love (#24)

16. Krewella - Live for the Night (#25)

17. Phillip Phillips - Gone Gone Gone (#20)

18. Icona Pop - All Night (#27)

19. Labrinth Ft. Emeli Sande - Beneath Your Beautiful (#18)

20. Jesse McCartney - Back Together (#22)

21. Florida Georgia Line - Cruise (#13)

22. MKTO - Classic (#26)

23. John Newman - Love Me Again (#29)

24. Mika Ft. Ariana Grande - Popular Song (#17)

25. Lorde - Royals (#37)

26. Cody Simpson - Pretty Brown Eyes (#28)

27. Fall Out Boy - Alone Together (DEBUT)

28. Bruno Mars - Gorilla (#41)

29. Macklemore Ft. Ryan Lewis - Can't Hold Us (#21)

30. Selena Gomez - Come & Get It (#32)

31. Swedish House Mafia - Don't You Worry Child (#38)

32. Bonnie McKee - American Girl (#30)

33. Robin Thicke ft. Pharrell and T.I. - Blurred Lines (#10)

34. Demi Lovato - Made in the USA (DEBUT)

35. Icona Pop - I Love It (#42)

36. Train Ft. Ashley Monroe - Bruises (#33)

37. Lana Del Ray Ft. Cedric Gervais - Summertime Sadness (DEBUT)

38. Pink Ft. Nate Reuss - Just Give Me a Reason (#43)

39. Macklemore Ft. Ryan Lewis - Thrift Shop (#36)

40. Bruno Mars - Treasure (#16)

41. Britney Spears - Work B**ch (DEBUT)

42. One Direction - Best Song Ever (#19)

43. Tegan & Sara - Closer (#35)

44. Awolnation - Sail (#45)

45. Karmin - Acapella (#40)

Biggest DDDDRRRROOOPPPP!!!!....of the week: Bruno Mars – Treasure (-24)

Biggest Jump of the Week: Bruno Mars – Gorilla (+13)

Alright, let’s get on with the pessimism because hoo boy, is there enough to go around this week.  Fall Out Boy – Alone Together is a marginally catchy song that has serious potential for long-term annoyingness.  If it’s played as much as My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light ‘Em Up) was, it won’t stand up nearly as well to the tests of time, and that’s saying something.  I have heard some pretty good songs from Lana Del Rey, but her countdown debut Ft. Cedric Gervais, Summertime Sadness, is lethargicness lost in a sea of apatheticity spiraling towards Yawnsville.  None of those things are actual words or places.  Demi Lovato – Made in the USA is likely the best new entrant.  I’ve mentioned here before that Demi Lovato is one of the best around at hitting the high notes, and her ability to do this is again on display here, but nothing like what it was in Heart Attack or Skyscraper.  Still, all things considered, Made in the USA is decent enough.  Britney Spears would like everyone to know she still exists.  She’s here, everybody.  Not dead or anything.  Her song, Work B**ch, also exists.

Houston, we have a Blurblem

- Good riddance to Enrique Iglesias – Turn the Night Up.  That song is a contender for Bottom 5 of the year, and it’s a relief we only had to deal with that for two weeks.

- Paramore – Still Into You is doing better than I ever thought possible, ascending into the Top 5 this week.

- I feel like this isn’t the first time Bruno Mars had both the Biggest DDDDRRRRROOOPPPP!...of the week and the Biggest Jump of the Week.  Might not be the second either.

- Awolnation – Sail is somehow hanging around in the Bottom 5 for what seems like forever

Editor’s Picks – Top 5 Songs

1) Train Ft. Ashley Monroe – Bruises

2) Bonnie McKee – American Girl

3) MKTO – Classic

4) Karmin – Acapella

5) Jesse McCartney - Back Together

Katy Perry (2) - Week of September 14, 2013

It would have been a true shock if Katy Perry – Roar lasted only a single week at #1, so I guess no surprise there.  Before we get on to this week’s Fresh 45, here’s a list of all the songs we’re saying good-bye to this week.

• Daft Punk - Get Lucky
• Sammy Adams Ft. Mike Posner - L.A. Story

The Countdown:

1. Katy Perry - Roar (#1) [Second Week at #1]

2. Imagine Dragons - Radioactive (#2)

3. Macklemore Ft. Ryan Lewis - Same Love (#8)

4. Maroon 5 - Love Somebody (#5)

5. Fall Out Boy - My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark (Light 'em Up) (#7)

6. Zedd Ft. Foxes - Clarity (#12)

7. Paramore - Still Into You (#9)

8. Lady Gaga - Applause (#10)

9. Avicii Ft. Aloe Blacc - Wake Me Up (#23)

10. Robin Thicke ft. Pharrell and T.I. - Blurred Lines (#3)

11. Capital Cities - Safe and Sound (#11)

12. Calvin Harris Ft. Ellie Goulding - I Need Your Love (#6)

13. Florida Georgia Line - Cruise (#4)

14. Eminem - Berzerk (#21)

15. Taylor Swift Ft. Ed Sheeran - Everything Has Changed (#13)

16. Bruno Mars - Treasure (#14)

17. Mika Ft. Ariana Grande - Popular Song (#15)

18. Labrinth Ft. Emeli Sande - Beneath Your Beautiful (#16)

19. One Direction - Best Song Ever (#18)

20. Phillip Phillips - Gone Gone Gone (#36)

21. Macklemore Ft. Ryan Lewis - Can't Hold Us (#19)

22. Jesse McCartney - Back Together (#20)

23. The 1975 - Chocolate (#40)

24. Pink - True Love (#26)

25. Krewella - Live for the Night (#27)

26. MKTO - Classic (#22)

27. Icona Pop - All Night (#35)

28. Cody Simpson - Pretty Brown Eyes (#30)

29. John Newman - Love Me Again (#31)

30. Bonnie McKee - American Girl (#28)

31. Enrique Iglesias - Turn the Night Up (#39)

32. Selena Gomez - Come & Get It (#32)

33. Train Ft. Ashley Monroe - Bruises (#24)

34. Demi Lovato - Heart Attack (#34)

35. Tegan & Sara - Closer (#29)

36. Macklemore Ft. Ryan Lewis - Thrift Shop (#33)

37. Lorde - Royals (DEBUT)

38. Swedish House Mafia - Don't You Worry Child (#43)

39. Anna Kendrick - Cups (#42)

40. Karmin - Acapella (#25)

41. Bruno Mars - Gorilla (DEBUT)

42. Icona Pop - I Love It (#45)

43. Pink Ft. Nate Reuss - Just Give Me a Reason (#38)

44. Jason Derulo - The Other Side (#17)

45. Awolnation - Sail (#44)

Biggest DDDDRRRROOOPPPP!!!...of the week: Jason Derulo – The Other Side (-27)

Biggest Jump of the Week: The 1975 – Chocolate (+17)

One of our debuts this week has been somewhat long-anticipated: Lorde – Royals.  I look at the lyrics that your run-of-the-mill 16 year old pop artist puts out there in their music, then look at Royals and see a whole another level.  Royals does a lot of trashing of the extravagant lives of pop stars, which is interesting angle for someone just breaking into the limelight to take.  Royals is oddly catchy and well put together.  Whether Lorde wrote it or someone behind the scenes, hat tip.

With Treasure still running its course on the countdown, Bruno Mars also debuts this week with the heavily explicit Gorilla.  It’s mostly unremarkable save for the background singing (can’t tell if this is Bruno or backup singers) during the chorus, which is fantastic.  Heh.  Is this two consecutive Bruno Mars songs that I don’t hate?  Welp, it’s back to the drawing board for me.  I’m not sure what I can believe in anymore.

An Incredible Blurbney

- A correction was pointed out to me last week.  I have been saying that Kelly Clarkson – Stronger was previously the fastest-ever time to reach #1, at 5 weeks, and that Katy Perry – Roar had broken that record.  This was incorrect.  Katy Perry – Last Friday Night achieved the feat in 4 weeks, so really Katy tied her own record with Roar.  Please continue to point out any inaccuracies in the comments -- I appreciate you guys looking out for keeping the information I put out there as accurate as possible.

- L.A. Story dying off, Acapella and Bruises fading fast….man, what did I do to piss off someone at Hits-1?  July 20, 2013 forever!!!!

- Before a weekday edition of the wutchuwant countdown, Spyder Harrison asked why there were so many votes coming in for a year-old song by Of Monsters and Men.  Because, Spyder, we all need reminders that life is both good and often doesn’t make any sense.

- There is a serious load of crap on Hit-Bound at the moment, and based on weekday airplay, I am deathly afraid of what is about to happen this weekend.

- Avicii Ft. Aloe Blacc made its first appearance in the Top 10 this week.  It’s nice to see that one’s catching on quickly.

Editor’s Picks – Top 5 Songs

1) Train Ft. Ashley Monroe – Bruises

2) Bonnie McKee – American Girl

3) MKTO – Classic

4) Jesse McCartney – Back Together

5) Karmin - Acapella

Katy Perry - Week of September 7, 2013

And just like that, we have a new record…one that I think may never be broken again.  Hey, and Spyder Harrison was back this week, too!  Before we get on to this week’s Fresh 45, here’s a list of all the songs we’re saying good-bye to this week.

• Twenty One Pilots - Holding On To You
• fun. - Some Nights (DTHNOBx2)
• Ke$ha Ft. will.i.am - Crazy Kids

The Countdown:

1. Katy Perry - Roar (#3) [First Week at #1]

2. Imagine Dragons - Radioactive (#1)

3. Robin Thicke ft. Pharrell and T.I. - Blurred Lines (#2)

4. Florida Georgia Line - Cruise (#15)

5. Maroon 5 - Love Somebody (#5)

6. Calvin Harris Ft. Ellie Goulding - I Need Your Love (#6)

7. Fall Out Boy - My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark (Light 'em Up) (#7)

8. Macklemore Ft. Ryan Lewis - Same Love (#18)

9. Paramore - Still Into You (#9)

10. Lady Gaga - Applause (#10)

11. Capital Cities - Safe and Sound (#11)

12. Zedd Ft. Foxes - Clarity (#4)

13. Taylor Swift Ft. Ed Sheeran - Everything Has Changed (#17)

14. Bruno Mars - Treasure (#36)

15. Mika Ft. Ariana Grande - Popular Song (#19)

16. Labrinth Ft. Emeli Sande - Beneath Your Beautiful (#13)

17. Jason Derulo - The Other Side (#14)

18. One Direction - Best Song Ever (#21)

19. Macklemore Ft. Ryan Lewis - Can't Hold Us (#8)

20. Jesse McCartney - Back Together (#39)

21. Eminem - Berzerk (DEBUT)

22. MKTO - Classic (#23)

23. Avicii Ft. Aloe Blacc - Wake Me Up (#20)

24. Train Ft. Ashley Monroe - Bruises (#22)

25. Karmin - Acapella (#12)

26. Pink - True Love (#25)

27. Krewella - Live for the Night (#24)

28. Bonnie McKee - American Girl (#29)

29. Tegan & Sara - Closer (#32)

30. Cody Simpson - Pretty Brown Eyes (#31)

31. John Newman - Love Me Again (#28)

32. Selena Gomez - Come & Get It (#35)

33. Macklemore Ft. Ryan Lewis - Thrift Shop (#40)

34. Demi Lovato - Heart Attack (#27)

35. Icona Pop - All Night (#16)

36. Phillip Phillips - Gone Gone Gone (DEBUT)

37. Daft Punk - Get Lucky (#34)

38. Pink Ft. Nate Reuss - Just Give Me a Reason (#41)

39. Enrique Iglesias - Turn the Night Up (DEBUT)

40. The 1975 - Chocolate (#33)

41. Sammy Adams Ft. Mike Posner - LA Story (#44)

42. Anna Kendrick - Cups (#45)

43. Swedish House Mafia - Don't You Worry Child (#42)

44. Awolnation - Sail (#37)

45. Icona Pop - I Love It (#38)

Biggest DDDDDRRRRROOOOOPPPP!!!....of the week: Icona Pop – All Night (-19)

Biggest Jump of the Week: Bruno Mars – Treasure (+22)

I have been dreading giving this week’s update.  Hoo boy, have I not been excited.  This week is not what it is supposed to be.  At all.  Take Enrique Iglesias – Turn The Night Up for instance.  This is supposed to be a countdown of songs that more people in North America want to hear than any other.  However, Turn The Night Up is obnoxious (save for the melodious part of the chorus) and awful, and there’s no possible way that a rational North American could like this song, let alone request for it to be played on the radio.  And Eminem.  Brilliant, excellent, Eminem.  His songs are supposed to be great!  They’re not supposed to be weird and polluted with strange background music….they’re supposed to feature Eminem’s unique rapping ability with minimal distractions from that.  However, Berzerk doesn’t do that.  It’s odd, and actually sort of bad.  Well, maybe not so much bad as disappointing.  Eminem’s return to the countdown is supposed to be exciting.  Berzerk is not.

And Phillip Phillips.  I’m SUPPOSED to like him.  He’s talented.  He doesn’t make trashy music like all these other countdown artists.  Heck, EVERYONE is SUPPOSED to like him.  Go into public and say bad things about Phillip Phillips.  I dare you.  You will be wildly unpopular and people will tell you to stop speaking.  Yet his songs like Home and this week’s debut, Gone Gone Gone are simply not things that I want to hear come on the radio.  They are things that I wish would play in an elevator or while I am on the phone and on hold with a company with annoying customer service, like Comcast.  I’m supposed to like Gone Gone Gone.  It’s a well-put together, well-written, well-performed song, but this is pop music we’re talking about.  I want catchy hooks, I want instant gratification, I want something that stands out in a unique way that makes me think “I can’t wait to hear this song again”.  Gone Gone Gone does not fulfill any of these.  I’m SUPPOSED to like Phillip Phillips’s music, but I am superlatively indifferent to it.

Harvey Blurbman

- Spyder Harrison pointed out the record-breaking time in which Katy Perry – Roar ascended to the #1 spot.  Glad to see someone besides me is keeping track of this.

- Whoever responded “Not at all” to the “How tired are you of this song” question for Florida Georgia Line – Cruise in the Hits-1 wutchuwant survey last week…..you are not doing the world any favors.  Just…just look at where that’s ranked.  Thanks, thanks a lot.

- fun – Some Nights debuted on July 28, 2012.  Gee, you think it was about time it got kicked off the countdown for good?  And no, this does not count as record-breaking tenure, because it was on its second go-round.  Maroon 5 – Payphone reigns supreme.

- I’m actually fairly happy that Imagine Dragons – Radioactive didn’t hit #1 for a record-tying 9^th time.  It is nowhere near good or infectious enough to deserve that honor.  Quite frankly, I’m tired of hearing it.

- Robin Thicke ft. Pharrell and T.I. - Blurred Lines has yet to hit #1 on this countdown.  Keep up the strong defense, voters!  Don’t let that crap through!

- Yet another of my beloved July 20, 2013 new entrant class bites the dust.  You will be missed, Twenty One Pilots – Holding On To You.  Sorely underappreciated.

Editor’s Picks – Top 5 Songs

1) Bonnie McKee – American Girl

2) Train Ft. Ashley Monroe – Bruises

3) MKTO – Classic

4) Karmin – Acapella

5) Avicii Ft. Aloe Blacc – Wake Me Up

Imagine Dragons (8) - Week of August 31, 2013

They got Ariana Grande to host Hit-Bound next weekend, and I am trying very hard to come up with a joke about artistic theft and her not adding any value to things but am coming up empty.  It is Friday, people.  I humbly request demand you deal with it.  Before we get on to this week’s Fresh 45, here’s a list of all the songs we’re saying good-bye to this week. 

• Emblem 3 - Chloe
• JTX - Summer Lover

The Countdown:

1. Imagine Dragons - Radioactive (#1) [Eighth Week at #1]

2. Robin Thicke ft. Pharrell and T.I. - Blurred Lines (#2)

3. Katy Perry - Roar (#9)

4. Zedd Ft. Foxes - Clarity (#4)

5. Maroon 5 - Love Somebody (#3)

6. Calvin Harris Ft. Ellie Goulding - I Need Your Love (#6)

7. Fall Out Boy - My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark (Light 'em Up) (#5)

8. Macklemore Ft. Ryan Lewis - Can't Hold Us (#8)

9. Paramore - Still Into You (#12)

10. Lady Gaga - Applause (#11)

11. Capital Cities - Safe and Sound (#10)

12. Karmin - Acapella (#13)

13. Labrinth Ft. Emeli Sande - Beneath Your Beautiful (#14)

14. Jason Derulo - The Other Side (#45)

15. Florida Georgia Line - Cruise (#7)

16. Icona Pop - All Night (#18)

17. Taylor Swift Ft. Ed Sheeran - Everything Has Changed (#17)

18. Macklemore Ft. Ryan Lewis - Same Love (#27)

19. Mika Ft. Ariana Grande - Popular Song (#21)

20. Avicii Ft. Aloe Blacc - Wake Me Up (#36)

21. One Direction - Best Song Ever (#15)

22. Train Ft. Ashley Monroe - Bruises (#22)

23. MKTO - Classic (#19)

24. Krewella - Live for the Night (#31)

25. Pink - True Love (#24)

26. Twenty One Pilots - Holding On To You (#20)

27. Demi Lovato - Heart Attack (#28)

28. John Newman - Love Me Again (#25)

29. Bonnie McKee - American Girl (#37)

30. fun. - Some Nights (#34)

31. Cody Simpson - Pretty Brown Eyes (#26)

32. Tegan & Sara - Closer (#33)

33. The 1975 - Chocolate (#16)

34. Daft Punk - Get Lucky (#29)

35. Selena Gomez - Come & Get It (#35)

36. Bruno Mars - Treasure (#43)

37. Awolnation - Sail (#41)

38. Icona Pop - I Love It (#40)

39. Jesse McCartney - Back Together (DEBUT)

40. Macklemore Ft. Ryan Lewis - Thrift Shop (#38)

41. Pink Ft. Nate Reuss - Just Give Me a Reason (#44)

42. Swedish House Mafia - Don't You Worry Child (RE-ENTRY)

43. Ke$ha Ft. will.i.am - Crazy Kids (#42)

44. Sammy Adams Ft. Mike Posner - LA Story (#23)

45. Anna Kendrick - Cups (#39)

Biggest DDDDDDRRRRROOOOOPPPPP…..of the week: Sammy Adams Ft. Mike Posner – L.A. Story (-21)

Biggest Jump of the Week: Jason Derulo – The Other Side (+31)

Swedish House Mafia – Don’t You Worry Child is back on the countdown, so except for one minor change, this countdown is basically a bunch of stuff you’ve seen before.  Sort of like Ariana Grande’s music!  Boom!  Nailed it!  You thought I wasn’t going to follow through on that and you were wrong.  Jesse McCartney is something of a jack-of-all-trades in the entertainment business, part of which involves having a pretty good singing voice, and the lone debut this week is his song, Back Together, an energetic 80’sesque tune that I’m happy to say continues the trend of replenishing the Hits-1 Weekend Countdown with above-average music.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Blurbs

- Hayley Williams of Paramore was this weekend's host.

- Katy Perry – Roar has a chance to hit #1 on its 4^th weekend on the countdown, which would break Kelly Clarkson – Stronger’s record (5^th week)

- Bonnie McKee – American Girl is my official guilty pleasure song of the year.  It’s the successor to Cher Lloyd – Oath.  I doubt I’ll be all about this one for an extended period of time, but it’s currently my shiny new toy.

- Speaking of records, Imagine Dragons – Radioactive has a chance to be #1 for a 9^th week, albeit nonconsecutive.  This would tie the record held by Carly Rae Jepsen – Call Me Maybe.

- Also of note, Sammy Adams Ft. Mike Posner – L.A. Story is quickly fading into irrelevance, and JTX – Summer Lover is already gone.  The countdown is slowly beginning to phase out my July 20, 2013 new entrant class, and this makes me quite sad.

- Eminem is back on HitBound.  So there’s that.  We may be hearing from him on this countdown soon.

Editor’s Picks – Top 5 Songs

1) Bonnie McKee – American Girl

2) Train Ft. Ashley Monroe - Bruises

3) Avicii Ft. Aloe Blacc – Wake Me Up

4) Twenty One Pilots – Holding On to You

5) MKTO - Classic